Doctor Who: A Most Gruesome Menagerie
by Gilliamesque
Summary: Seeking an escape from his current humdrum life, The Doctor and K-9 decide to take a trip to the galaxy's largest nature preserve, an artificial moon containing exotic lifeforms from hundreds of different worlds. Not to mention a macabre plot that threatens to engulf everything in a maelstrom of pain and death. If The Doctor can't save us, who can?
1. Doctors, Dogs and Death

_(AN: This started out as one story, then I decided to change it into another story. Also, despite the presence of K-9 here, this Doctor is not meant to be Tom Baker or indeed any specific iteration of the character. He's just The Doctor, which is how it should be._

"Are you awake, Mr. Hudson?"

Bernard Hudson opened his eyes, then immediately shut them as spikes of pain stabbed through them. The light was overwhelmingly bright, even through his eyelids, and as big as the world. A second later he tried it again, and although the light was still as bright, he was able to tell that he staring up into a large lamp. Not only that, but it appeared was laying on a cold metal table, strapped even, to such a degree that he could barely move. Strange that he hadn't noticed that as soon as had regained consciousness

"I repeat, are you awake Mr. Hudson?" The voice seemed distorted, echoing throughout the room as if he were in the middle of a vast cavern. Was that where he was? He couldn't see much of anything beyond the lamp..

"Who the hell are you? What am I doing here?" Bernard said, struggling in vain against his bonds. He was feeling so weak for some reason…

"Ah, good. Normally I don't care either way if the subject is conscious, but who am I to turn down a request from a colleague?" The voice replied. "In regards to your questions, there's no need for you know. In a few moments you won't even remember asking them."

"What are you talking about?"

"Now you might be feeling a bit of disorientation and weakness." The voice continued. "That is common for humanoids who have had the tops of their skulls removed."

"I don't know what game you're playing, but it's not funny!" Bernard yelled, finding new strength as he strained against his bonds. "Now let me go!"

"You're going to feel a bit of pressure in a second." The voice persisted. "That will be the isomorphic solution being injected into your brain stem. The subsequent pain will be the rapid alterations to your physiology and central nervous system."

"You're insane! Somebody help me! HELP ME!"

"Goodbye, Mr. Hudson."

Then the pressure came,and Bernard Hudson screamed.

When had the TARDIS become so quiet?

The thought had come without warning, sneaking like some jungle cat into the mind belonging to the being known as The Doctor at the moment when he (at that time he _was_ a he) when he least expected it. That moment, for those curious, was the second before he took a sip of his Earl Gray tea just after he had finished reading a volume of 48th century Martian poetry while sitting in his favorite chair in his favorite cozy firelit, study. This was why, The Doctor often claimed, he was rarely if ever taken by surprise. Even if sometimes it appeared otherwise.

Yes, quiet. The Doctor had been alive for several centuries by his last reckoning, and he had spent a good deal of that time freewheeling across the entirety of spacetime in his TARDIS (Time And Relative Dimensions In Space, the vaguely sentient, unbelievably sophisticated transportation vehicles created by his people) and he could rarely recall it ever feeling so...empty. Normally there was at least one voice there to break the silence, often times several, usually human. One voice to push him away from the Gallifreyan tendencies toward lethargy and intellectual stagnation, to stave off the feelings of age and loneliness that preyed upon him in these exact moments..

So. Quiet.

"Sigh." The Doctor sighed, flinging the book behind him, which somehow managed to land perfectly sound on top of a pile of other books in the corner. "I'm starting to feel it. The weight of time. The soul-crushing ennui that comes from eternity. I feel like the protagonist in a vampire romance novel. Much more handsome of course, but still…"

He stretched out, catlike, in his chair, a late-19th century number that he had picked up when the Zygons had attempted to take over Parliament. He stared into the crackling flames in his fireplace. Then leaned back and sighed again.

"This won't do, this just won't do at all." He announced. "I feel like I'm stuck in a rut. When was the last time I saved the universe from an alien threat? Or kept the fabric of reality from tearing like a wet napkin? I mean I'm The Doctor for pity's sake! I need action! Adventure! Maybe just a little romance, not going to rule anything out. The wind at my back, infinity stretched out before me, that'll get the blood pumping through the old hearts again! Definitely!"

Excited now, The Doctor gulped down the rest of his scalding hot tea, immediately regretted it, and threw the empty cup behind him, which knocked over a pile of books and shattered into a thousand pieces. Grabbing his walking stick, he stood up like a man triumphant, waving it about like Napoleon waving his saber. "K-9!" The Doctor shouted.

"Yes Master?" Came the reply, in a high-pitched, mechanical voice.

K-9 was one of The Doctor's many acquisitions during one of his freewheeling excursions, your run-of-the-mill child's supercomputer built in the shape of a metallic blue, Old Earth style dog. A hot ticket item the year it came out, The Doctor had bought it and modified it a little (greater memory capacity, a more flexible OS, the ability to travel on surfaces other than perfectly flat concrete, and so on), and took it on his adventures, or at least the ones where a talking robot dog was useful. As it happens, those numerous modifications that The Doctor had performed on K-9 had the added benefit of making what was once meant to be a children's toy into one of the more advanced machines in the galaxy (at least by non-Gallifreyan standards), but The Doctor had always said that anything that claimed it was a dog but didn't know how to roll over couldn't be all that smart.

"K-9, have you been sitting next to me this whole time?" The Doctor asked.

"Affirmative."

"Well why didn't you say anything?"

"I am a dog Master. Dogs do not talk."

"Really?" The Doctor countered. "Well if dogs don't talk, then how are you answering my questions?"

"Some things are better left unsaid."

"...Alright, I can accept that." The Doctor admitted. "Not sure how I feel about getting sass from a walking microwave, but I'll accept it. Where are we now, K-9?"

"Your study, Master."

"The TARDIS, K-9, where is the TARDIS."

"Sector VKL of the Vilbrum Protectorate. Currently in orbit 400,000 kilometers above the system's second planet."

"Vilbrum...Vilbrum…" The Doctor murmured, mulling the name over in his mind. "Ah yes, the Vilbrum, of course! Lovely people, great art, great music, . And if this is the right place and the right time, then we might have found ourselves that adventure. Come along, K-9!"

Side-stepping his robotic companion, The Doctor rushed out of his study and raced down the hall. Although the inside of the TARDIS fell outside the normal definition of space and thus theoretically could contain an infinite number of rooms (currently it seemed capped at 52), it always seemed like you only needed to pass by a few rooms to get where you needed to go, even if they weren't the same rooms as when you started out.. When he had first went to his study he had passed by 3 bedrooms, a sauna, and a staircase leading up to a greenhouse, and it had only taken him half that many as he entered the control room of the TARDIS.

Technically speaking, this was the second control room for the TARDIS, a rustic wood and brass affair that offset the more Gallifreyan design of the main one. In older models of TARDIS, and they didn't get much older than The Doctor's, these two rooms were the only way to do much of anything on the craft, piloting being only one aspect. Newer TARDIS, like the ones used by Rassilon and the First Council, could be operated from any room, or even by pure thought. Took a lot of the fun out of it, in The Doctor's opinion, but then that was the Time Lords for you. Never do something fun if you can't do it dull.

"Let's see, let's see…" The Doctor mumbled. He flipped a few switches, pressed a few buttons, checked the information a nearby screen and then, excitedly pumped his fist into the air. "Yes, this is perfect! Just need a little nudge a few hundred thousand kilometers to the right, maybe a century or two forward, and that should just about do it!"

"Where are we going today, Master?" K-9 asked, finally rolling into the room. As powerful a computer as it was, K-9 wasn't the fastest dog in the galaxy by any stretch of the imagination.

"Where we're going is one of the most impressive bits of scientific achievement this side of the galaxy has seen in a millennium." The Doctor said, punching in some commands into the control console. The all-too-familiar sounds of the engines revving up, getting ready to slide the TARDIS out or normal space and into the timestream, brought a smile to his face. "As for what we're going to do when we get there, why only what the idle & privileged who claim the desire for adventure have done since time immemorial, of course! And who else in the universe is as idle and privileged as us?"

The Doctor slammed down a lever, comparable to a gas pedal in an ancient Earth automobile, and the whole room shook violently as the TARDIS fell out of reality like a lead balloon and went rocketing towards its destination.

"K-9, we're going on a safari!"


	2. The Life Sanctuary

The trip took only a few seconds, or an infinity of incomprehensible madness if you were somehow alongside the TARDIS as it skirted under the membrane of the universe (time doesn't really makes sense outside of the presence of space), and when the wondrous machine finally materialized at its destination The Doctor gave a little yelp of excitement.

"And here we are! Took a bit longer than I expected, I mean we were only going a couple centuries, not surfing around the Mandragora Helix, but still! Aren't you excited K-9?"

"I am all a-twitter, Master." K-9 replied.

"You better not be like this the whole trip, otherwise you're going to have to take yourself on walks from now on." The Doctor chided. "Now come along, just because I'm a lord of time doesn't mean I like to waste it."

Grabbing his overcoat, his walking stick and hat, a black Homburg that completed the Edwardian look that had caught his interest in recent times,and strolled out the door. K-9, the ever-dutiful dog, followed behind.

To the Time Lords, a race much more objective and isolationist than a member like The Doctor would imply, the most convenient feature in any TARDIS was something known as a chameleon circuit. An fascinatingly complex bit of Gallifreyan ingenuity, when activated the chameleon circuit orders the TARDIS to scan its surroundings and mold its outer appearance to that which will garner it the least amount of attention. If the TARDIS was in a forest for example, the chameleon circuit would make it look like a Douglas fir, and it would look and feel and taste just like any of the hundreds of other Douglas firs around it. Aside from the fact that a disguised TARDIS could still be entered and exited (which wasn't normally possible with Douglas firs without great difficulty) and could shrug off multiple hydrogen bombs without a scratch, it was a perfectly anonymous disguise. Perfect for the Time Lord who wished to observe and research in peace & quiet.

Convenient though it may be, the chameleon circuit is also incredibly delicate, and depending on the age of the TARDIS (The Doctor's TARDIS was indeed quite old) and how good the pilot was (The Doctor was not all that good), it is quite shorting the right circumstances. Which is exactly what happened when The Doctor (then with his granddaughter Susan, long and painful story) landed his newly commandeered time machine on the planet Earth, locking it in the form of a police box for a good couple centuries. A police box, to clarify, was the name for a particular model of public communications terminal used in the region known as the United Kingdom in the Earth's mid-20th century. A thing that, by design, was meant to be incredibly noticeable and thus completely unhelpful at leading one to peace & quiet. Whether this was an effect of the chameleon circuit malfunctioning or the pilot misunderstanding the definition of 'inconspicuous' had yet to be determined..

Over time The Doctor grew fond of the police box design, lacking the knowledge required to repair the circuit at the time he had little choice, and he soon began to use it as a identifying symbol. His own personal coat of arms, like the ones used by the Royal Houses of Gallifrey. Still, renegade though he was The Doctor was still a Time Lord, and even he sometimes desired the anonymity that the TARDIS could provide, so at some point (either in his past or his future, he couldn't remember) he decided to repair his chameleon circuit to achieve that. He still kept the police box disguise on default of course, especially if he were visiting Earth or another human dwelling, but when he just wanted to be out and about, the chameleon circuit was on.

This was a case of the latter, so when our alien hero and his trusty K-9 companion exited the TARDIS it looked for all the world like a top-of-the-line navy blue Zefram-class space cruiser, complete with dual fission reactors, a full complement of ion missiles and an onboard computer with the complete works of every Earth musician for the past two hundred years, which fit in perfectly with all the other large, expensive-looking spacecraft around it. In fact, if The Doctor and K-9 were hovering in the air, they would have noticed that this enormous gunmetal gray cavern they had materialized in housed hundreds of ships, all different makes and models, shapes and sizes stretching out as far as the eye could see. A grand canyon of steel & chrome.

"What do you have to say for yourself now, dog?" The Doctor asked, waving his arm about in a grand gesture. "Impressed yet?"

"You've taken us to...a giant parking lot?" K-9 replied.

"It's not a parking lot! Well, I mean, yes, this specific area was built for the purpose of parking, but I mean in general, this is it! Vil-duran, the Life Sanctuary! Crowning achievement of the Vilbrum Protectorate and the grandest nature preserve in the galaxy! Billions of different life-forms from a hundred different worlds, all living, all _thriving_ , on an artificial moon bigger than a dozen Earths! From a race that hasn't even progressed beyond faster-than-light travel no less! Brilliant, absolutely brilliant!"

"You certainly do sell it well, Master."

"Just wait until we get inside proper. You won't believe your optic sensors." The Doctor said. "Now come on, we've got a ways to go to get to the lobby."

For those visiting Vil-duran that, for one reason of another, are unwilling or unable to walk several kilometers to reach the reception area or any of the conveniently-placed MTE pads, high-speed travelators are provided to transport guests quickly and safely to their destination. The Doctor considered these the most fun, so as the two zipped past the rows of vehicles, wind whipping through their hair (K-9 liked to imagine he had hair), the Time Lord decided to pass the time with conversation.

"Interesting people, the Vilbrumin. Started out a lot like humans, really. Holy wars, genocides, environmental disasters, all that terrible stuff. Before they ended up destroying themselves however, they developed something that humans never did quite as well: Empathy. They could feel literally the emotions of other lifeforms, touch their minds, all that stuff. Makes it a bit hard to kill your fellow man when you can feel their fear and pain blaring in your mind like a foghorn."

"Most assuredly, Master."

"So rather than destroying life, they became venerators of it. Ended all wars, reduced the progression of climate change, championed the arts and sciences, and so on. A complete and total cultural shift, Renaissance times a thousand, and what was once an average, seemingly unremarkable humanoid race became one of the most advanced and influential species in this sector of space. If you meet a diplomat, doctor, engineer or poet around here, chances are they're either a Vilbrumin or was taught by one."

"The year the Vilbrum Protectorate was founded, their leader, Emissary Sul'Surok, passed a motion for the construction of an enormous nature preserve, one able to suit the needs of any and all animal and plant life housed within it, so that no species need fade away to oblivion due to the actions of another. Since no naturally occurring celestial body has the degree of environmental diversity necessary to support that many exotic species, they decided to make their own, put it in an empty solar system nearby. A thousand years later and poof! Here it is, as big as life and free of charge. Just the thing for a couple of space hobos like us."

"It certainly sounds like an ambitious project Master." K-9 admitted. "How do they manage to maintain it?"

"Well they're a post-scarcity society, so most of the materials they need can be synthesized with little effort. Plus any donations from allies and member planets." The Doctor said, absentmindedly adjusting his hat. "Not to mention some good old fashioned man power and elbow grease. It's considered a great honor on Vilbrum to be chosen to work in the Life Sanctuary."

The pair lapsed into silence for the rest of the trip, which turned out to be not that long at all, as all the travelators seemed to lead to the same large crowd of people, who were all standing in front of something that looked like an equally large airplane terminal. The very thought of it sent a shiver down his spine, much the same way when he was facing down Daleks or similar horrors, but he had already made a grand case of it to K-9, and he hated to see the pup disappointed. So they had to wait.

Still it wasn't _all_ bad. It did give him a chance to reacquaint himself with Vilbrumin, after all these years, as they made up the entirety of the service personnel and a decent number of the crowd. Generally speaking they didn't look all that much different than humans, probably the reason why they got along as well as they did, just a bit pointier. Pointed eyebrows, pointed ears, aquiline features, hair that looked like it was cut by a plasma saw. On paper those qualities might have suggested austerity, stoicity, but the Vilbrumin exuded such an aura of peace and warmth, and their clothes were so extravagantly colorful (the people of Vilbrum loved their primary colors) that any criticisms about their appearance quickly melted away. The Doctor found himself grinning just by watching them mill about, engaging in idle conversation, talking about the animals they were looking forward to seeing. Never on Gallifrey would you see such enthusiasm for existence, for gaining new knowledge and experiences. Such a marvelous little species, he really did need to visit them more often.

After a period of waiting that felt several times longer than it took to actually get there, The Doctor and K-9 finally reached the head of the queue. A male Vilbrumin stood behind the counter, dressed in a striking blue uniform. As the time traveler stepped up he seemed to have a hint of confusion on his face, but it was quickly replaced with a smile.

"Greetings, and welcome to Vil-duran." He said with a small bow. "My name is Len'Tetrel. How may I be of service?"

"Ah yes, we'd here to go on one of your safaris. Or wilderness excursions, whatever you care to call them." The Doctor replied. "Sleep on the artificial ground, breathe the artificial air, that sort of thing."

"We appreciate the sentiment sir, although we do try our best to keep things as natural as possible." Len'Tretrel said, typing some things onto a nearby computer. "May I ask how many members are in your party, and their names?"

"Two, I suppose. I'm The Doctor."

"Doctor-?"

"Yes, that's about right. And this fellow down here," The Doctor pointed down, "is K-9. I do hope you allow pets around here, you know in all the to-do I completely forgot to check."

"A recurring theme in your life, Master." K-9 said.

Len'Tetrel leaned forward to follow the Time Lord's finger, and when he leaned back that previous hint of confusion had compounded. "Well, normally pets are prohibited, due to their potentially adverse effect on the environment, but I think we can make an exception in this case."

"See K-9, you're exceptional!" The Doctor said.

"Affirmative."

"Alright, and where would you like to visit during your stay? I know the Odmali Tundra is very popular this time of year, what with the cavern wolves awakening from their hibernation. If you're a fan of marine biology the methane oceans of Rixx are also quite a sight."

"Hmm, it's all very interesting…" The Doctor mused. "Do you have anything Earth-related, by any chance?"

"Master!" K-9 interjected.

"What?"

"If you wanted to see Earth animals, why did we not simply visit Earth?"

"Because I already know how humans treat other animals on their planet," The Doctor countered, "so now I'd like to see how aliens do it. Maybe here they get a little bit of respect."

"We do have a a few Earth biomes" Len'Tetrel replied, as he read off a computerized list. "Pacific Ocean, Amazon rainforest, African savannah…"

"Oh, Africa! I haven't been there since I did some dream interpretation for a very repressed pharaoh. We'll take that one."

"Very good sir, a fine choice." The Vilbrumin replied, typing up the order at a speed that would make a stenographer jealous. "Unfortunately there's not that much demand for the Earth biomes, so the expedition party will be quite minimal. Is that okay?"

"Quite all right, I work better in small doses." He shot a glare at K-9. "Not one word."

"I would not dream of it." The robot dog innocently replied. Although everything he said sounded innocent.

"Alright, everyone is taken care of on this end. If you head down the door to the right," Len'Tetrel gestured, "and type the word 'AFRICA', all in capital letters, into the command console, the transportation chamber should let you out where you need to be. Thank you for patronage."

"Good, good, thank you." The Doctor said with a big grin. "Lovely people, you Vilbrumin, just lovely. Come along K-9."

Len'Tetrel watched as the strangely dressed man and his robot dog (did they even still make robot dogs anymore?He thought they had gone out of style almost immediately) walk off towards the transport chamber. Then he looked at the reservation order he just made. He only just now noticed that he had never gotten the doctor's full-name, never ever pressed him for it, and that he couldn't recall that ever happening before. All he had one was one word, Doctor, and a question mark.

He shrugged. Most Earthin he had met in his life trended toward the eccentric, and this doctor was very much the same. Nothing to worry about. He put his smile back on and went back to work.


	3. Meeting the Party

"I do hope that they clean these matter-to-energy transporters regularly." The Doctor muttered as they stepped into the chamber."

"Such systems are no doubt part of the design, Master." K-9 replied.

"Perhaps, but you never know. A lot of species don't even figure out the molecular degradation problem until they accidentally beam up blobs of slime rather than people. Even the more advanced models like these shave off a couple million atoms on every trip, like a high tech exfoliant. If you don't purge the matter stream every now and then it builds up, and eventually you end up with a bit of someone's lower intestine in your lungs. Not a pleasant experience, let me tell you."

"Quite interesting." K-9 said, his audio receptors slowly rotating. An aesthetic choice by his original designers to indicate it when it was considering a response, no doubt. "According to my databanks, the main point of contention concerning matter-to-energy transportation in its formative period was a metaphysical one, based in part on the logistics behind it. Specifically, as matter-to-energy technology requires the deconstruction of the subject matter and its subsequent reconstruction, the question arises as to whether the resultant object is the same as the original. Applied to sentient beings, the argument could be made that the dissolution of the brain and nervous system causes instant death, and that the being at the end of the transport is in fact a copy built on the image of the original. Years of extensive testing has put to rest much of these speculations, but there are still significant portions of the population that maintain strict anti-MTE beliefs.

"You seem...oddly verbose about this subject, K-9." The Doctor said.

"We artificial intelligences are uniquely interested in matters of consciousness, Master."

"Ah well, carry on then." The Doctor mumbled, typing the code he was given by the Vilbrumin receptionist into the transporter control. "If they were really worried about it, they should just do what the Time Lords do: If you want to get from point A to point B without taking a step, just move the room."

The journey was instantaneous, as is the advantage of being converted to light, and when The Doctor and K-9 exited the transportation chamber they found themselves in a hallway about as large as the room they had just left. Along both sides of the hall, set a good distance apart were large mechanical doors, and on each one there was a name, or more accurately a description. "Akanine Caves, Lazeride", "Almeta Desert, Czirat", and most importantly, "African veldt, Earth". Seeing no other reason to tarry, they entered.

On the other side of the door was a room, and as much as the entrance looked like an airport terminal, this one looked like the waiting room at a dentist's office. A couple chairs, something that looked like a fern, a few electronic tablets containing a few hundred magazines, and three people who were (assumedly) waiting for The Doctor and his dog to arrive. Their expressions ranged from calm to unbelievably annoyed.

The unbelievably annoyed one, The Doctor was interested to note, seemed to be a human, dressed in traditional Old Earth safari attire. Although ruggedly built, with a well-manicured blonde beard to match, he exuded such an air of petulance and self-importance that one couldn't help but set themselves against him in their minds. At least The Doctor couldn't, making a mental note to annoy this particular fellow at every available opportunity. It just wouldn't be a proper adventure without it, really.

Standing next to the man was a alien that The Doctor assumed was an Orlon, if the cracked blue skin was any indication. From what he could recall, Orlons as a whole prided themselves on their strict adherence to all things business-like and contractual, their entire culture based itself around it in fact. Hire an Orlon, and you got a worker that never complained, never asked for time off, and always did exactly what was asked of them. Break a contract with an Orlon, and your life was forfeit, as well anyone else in the immediate vicinity after the guild jihad was finished. The temptation of the perfect employee was often too great a temptation for most however, and so Orlons were a pretty common site anywhere you could find an interstellar conglomerate. Likely too dedicated to his work to be rattled.

Last but not least, there was a Vilbrumin woman, dressed in the deep crimson that classified her as a member of the biome guide staff. The Doctor's opinion on the Vilbrum was already well-established at this point, and considering his history, his opinion on women was as well. Not that he was biased or anything, he had friends of a variety of different genders and sexes, it was just that in his experience women tended to receptive to the idea of time traveling misadventures, and rarely attempted to murder him. Although there was that one time on Titan…, but she was already walking up to greet them, so there was no time to reminisce.

"Hello, you must be-" She suddenly broke off, looking confused.

"Something the matter?" The Doctor asked.

"No, no, I apologize, it's just that I'm not used to picking up such a...bizarre reading from someone before. Like trying to peer through a smokescreen. Are you from Earth?"

"Gallifrey, actually. Though I have been known to holiday on Earth every few centuries." The Doctor replied, giving her an amicable grin and a doff of the hat. "I'm The Doctor by the way, and this is K-9."

"A pleasure, ma'am."

"Sorry about the confusion," The Time Lord continued " you see my species has quite the degree of mental power, if I do say so myself. We're not the greatest in the universe by ay stretch but we do have a way of not being sensed when the situation arises. I say, that's probably why that man at the front desk looked like he swallowed an orange whole, eh?"

"One never knows with you around, Master." K-9 said.

Right…" The Vilbrumin guide said. She had never heard of any planet known as Gallifrey, and he didn't look any different from the average human, aside from the strange fashion sense. An eccentric professor with a dampener implant, playing out a fantasy with a robot dog? "Well, it's a pleasure to meet you Doctor, K-9, my name is Kel-Zazad, I'm the supervisor and guide for the Africa biome."

She waved an arm over to the other people. "These are the other members of our party today. Doctor, this is Sir Tiberius Caine of Earth, and Nom of Orlon Alpha."

"Gentlemen." The Time Lord said with a tip of the hat.

"Charmed, I'm sure." Caine said, thoroughly uncharmed.

"Hmph." Nom grunted.

"So this is everyone, then?" The Doctor asked, looking about as if someone was going to pop up behind the furniture. "Rather small for a group that's going to travel across half a continent, isn't it?"

"That's the trouble with visiting one of the less popular biomes, I suppose," Kel replied, "trips end up being a bit more intimate, for better or worst. In fact we were about ready to leave before your reservation came through."

"Which meant we were forced to wait until you and your antique arrived before we could get started." Caine muttered.

"Antique?" K-9 said, almost sounding annoyed.

"I'd have been here sooner, but it's such a pain to get the time coordinates exactly right. Some day I really must sit down and figure out what all those buttons do... Still, the important thing is that we're here, we'll have plenty of time to get to know each other Mister Caine."

"That's _Sir_ Caine."

"Tibby it is then!"

"Now see here! I-"

"I think it's about time we headed out." Kel-Zazad announced, stepping in between the grinning Time Lord and the grimacing aristocrat. She could almost taste the indignation radiating off of the man in waves, sour like tilash soup that had sat out in the sun too long. "It's currently around midday in the biome, and there's a lot of ground we need to cover before night falls. The door is right over here, if you'd all follow me."

"Yes, let's get on with it. I only allow myself a few vacations per year, might as well try to get what little enjoyment of it that I can." Caine said, throwing a cold glare in The Doctor's direction. "Come along Nom."

"Yes, Sir." Nom said, in a sonorous voice.

"After you Mister Crane." The Doctor said cheerily.

"Master, am I really an antique?" K-9 asked, as Kel-Zazad and the two men headed to the back of the room and the entrance to the biome.

"Well, technically speaking you are several hundred years old, so you are something of an antique. Then again, technically speaking I'm something of an antique myself, so I wouldn't worry my CPU over it." The Time Lord knelt down and gave his dog a warm pat on the head. "Now come on, let's join the others."

"Yes Master!"


	4. Many Voices for Many People

_(AN: For the purposes of this story, I've decided to base the physical appearance of The Doctor on Alexander Siddig, who played Julian Bashir on Star Trek: Deep Space 9. Mo concrete reason why, just sounded like an interesting idea at the time.)_

Kel'Zazad always considered it a good sign that after five years of working in the Africa biome, the moment when she opened the door and felt that blast of hot air on he face, saw the piercing blue of the sky, smelled the grass still filled her the same excitement that it did on her very first shift. The fact that the temperature was artificially regulated and the sky was actually a hologram made to simulate the sky of Old Earth didn't matter. There was still a power to this place, an energy that captivated her like nothing ever had before.

Despite their reputation amongst other races, the Vilbrumin were not an species especially interested in spiritualism and mysticism. Logic and rationalism, simple clear thinking, was the preference for a species with empathic abilities. Still, when she was in the biome, she could believe for a moment that magic really existed.

There was a breeze blowing across the grasslands as Kel'Zazad stepped into Africa, whipping across the land and shaking the leaves of a nearby Marula tree. Had there been anyone it might have appeared like she had just appeared out of thin air, but that was again an example of holography at work, masking the metal wall with an illusion of nature. More aesthetically pleasing for the guests and better for the animals, and if any of them got a little too curious, a slight EM field would let them know to stay away.

The Vilbrumin guide turned and regarded her party as they too entered the room (strange to think an area this vast could be considered a room). Sir Caine and his assistant were standing off to the side, muttering amongst themselves. From the way their eyes darted around, it looked like they expected every bush and tuft of grass to hide some secret villain, waiting to pop out and attempt to mug them. Felt like it too, although it was always a bit tough to feel anything from Orlons.

This man known as The Doctor though, he acted like he had just arrived home after a long road trip. Arms outstretched to take in the holographic sun, his face (the color of hot chocolate, Kel thought idly) set in an expression of pure bliss. Even his little robot dog was wagging its long antenna tail as it took in the sights, although what it could actually see through its red viewscreen and sensor probes was difficult to say. Although she couldn't pick up anything from them, she could tell that they really enjoyed being here. A nice change of pace from the type of guests she normally had in the biome, people that appeared uninterested in even being there (like Sir Caine) or those too invested in scientific research to appreciate the beauty of their surroundings.

"Alright gentlemen, and dogs, if I could have your attention please. I'll try to make this quick so we can get started." Kel announced.

"Let me begin by saying: Welcome to Africa! Or at least a reasonable facsimile. Specifically, we are currently standing in a region once known as the Kruger National Park, a game reserve located in the former Republic of South Africa. This particular biome measures in at about 10,000 kilometers by 10,000 kilometers, stretching from Cape Town to Alexandria, Senegal to Somalia, with parts of the surrounding oceans as well as the island of Madagascar. Of course those names are strictly for the purposes of identification, we have our best to present this land in its most natural state, with no traces of civilization."

"If you could call it a civilization." Caine muttered under his breath.

"How exactly are we going to see all these sights, if I might ask?" The Doctor spoke up. "I'm all for a good run, but it seems does seem like a bit of a jog to see some zebra."

"We're getting to that. First we need to go over these" She said, tapping a little metallic emblem on her chest. Seconds later, a gust of wind signified the sudden appearance of a large silver orb, about the size of a Swiss ball with a dark, pupil-like center hovering next to Kel with a constant, almost inaudible hum.

"This is one of our 'eyes in the sky', one of the billions of security & research drones that we employ throughout Vil-duran." She explained. "Mostly we use these to monitor the biomes, observe the wildlife as unobtrusively as possible, and various other command functions. They're also programmed to pacify subjects when needed, sentient or otherwise. Now in a moment it's going to scan you, don't worry, we're just doing a cursory check for any contraband items or weaponry."

"Invading your guests privacy? That's a might paranoid isn't it?" Caine remarked. "I thought you Vilbrums were all about trust and mutual respect?"

"We are, Sir Caine, but that doesn't mean we're stupid." Kel replied. "Vil-duran contains species from many different worlds, many of which don't exist anymore on their native planets. In this biome alone live the only African rhinoceros in the universe, along with the ring-tailed lemur, the giant African swallowtail butterfly, and several others. Some people would and have gone to extraordinary lengths in order to kill rare life forms like these here. Others might end up damaging the environment through laziness or ignorance. Neither option is acceptable to us, and so we must scan our guests. If that is unacceptable to you, then you are free to leave."

"I'd say that's completely acceptable." The Doctor said. "What about you K-9? Do you think it's completely acceptable?"

"Perfectly completely acceptable Master."

"And how about you Caine?" He continued, with a sideways glance. "You don't have anything to hide, do you?"

"Of course not, 'Doctor'." Caine replied. "Frankly, I'm offended at the very notion. If I weren't on vacation right now I'd have my lawyers sue you into oblivion."

"I'm afraid the only thing I have of value are the clothes on my back. Incredibly fashionable clothes mind you, but still…"

"Do not worry Master, I am well-versed in 3,097 different variations of civil and common law, interplanetary or otherwise." K-9 said.

"Well, it wouldn't be the first time I had a dog as a lawyer."

"Scan away, madam." Caine said, with a flippant wave of his hand.

"Alright." Kel'Zazad replied, in a tone that strongly implied she was planning on doing it anyway. "Initiate scan, please."

"Confirmed." The drone replied in a soothing, if a little dry, tone. Bobbing like a rubber ball in a pool, the drone floated over to Nom, who regarded it with a cautious eye. The pupil-like center contracted for a second, then launched a bright blue beam, which washed over the entirety of the Orlon.

"Subject: Nom Azure Moon, Orlon. Status: Clear."

The drone moved over, flashed the light over Caine.

"Subject: Tiberius Caine, Human. Status: Clear."

"That's _Sir_ Caine." Caine grumbled.

The drone moved over again, dipping slightly to scan the small robot.

"Subject: K-9, Machine. Status: Clear."

Finally, the drone moved over to The Doctor, who greeted it with a curt wave. It scanned him like the others, then paused. Literally paused, as if it had frozen in space. Then it scanned him again, slowly and more thoroughly.

"Subject: Doctor, Unknown. Status: Clear"

"Unknown?" Kel'Zazad remarked in surprise. "That's odd, that's never happened before."

"It's also a bit rude, if I might say so." The Doctor said. "I'm not unknown, I'm from Gallifrey. K-9, didn't I say that I was from Gallifrey?"

"Affirmative, Master."

"Hmm." Kel'Zazad murmured. If the SRD was right, then this Doctor was an alien on the grandest scale; A complete enigma in a database of thousand of sentient species. An astounding scientific discovery. On the other hand, it could just be a minor glitch in the imaging system. Perhaps this Doctor suffered some sort of genetic disorder that threw the drone off. She made a mental note to send this unit back to maintenance when she had a free moment. "A vehicle, please."

The drone beeped in response, and a large hole appeared in space a short distance away from the hole long enough for a large hovercraft to slowly float out. A modern Terran design, built with the Terran's belief with equating size to power in mind with little reduction in its speed. Kel'Zazad slid into the driver's seat, tapping a few commands onto the viewscreen next to the wheel. Information appeared; weather conditions, migration patterns, and so on. After a moment, satisfied, she turned to the guests.

"Gentlemen, K-9, this is our main source of transportation during your trip to Vil-duran. Based on the SRD scans we just did it has provided appropriate food and clothing to last us all around three days, which should be more than enough to last us the duration of this visit. Hopefully you're not allergic to granola, Doctor."

"Me? No no, can't get enough of the stuff. I think." The Doctor said, looking over the hovercraft with a curious eye. "This is going to get us across the continent in three days?"

"Doctor, this thing can break the sound barrier in about 10 seconds." Kel replied. "Plus our route has been streamlined to include all the major areas of interest, barring any individual diversions. If it's in this biome, we can get to it."

"As long as it moves at all, I'm happy." Caine interjected, as he and Nom climbed in the vehicle. Let's get going."

"Alright then." The Time Lord said, hopping into the vehicle with an agility that belied his actual age. "Need a lift K-9?"

"Assistance is not required, Master." K-9 replied. With a mechanical whir, the robot dog gently rose into the air, floated over the hovercraft and slowly settled into the seat next to The Doctor. "See? Completely fine."

"Yeah, but who installed the hover jets in your chassis?" The Doctor asked haughtily. " _You're welcome_."

"All systems are green, batteries are fully charged...Ok." Kel muttered. "Time to fly!"

With both feet she slammed down onto the accelerator, and with a sudden jolt the Vilbrumin, the Human, the Orlon, the Time Lord and his robot dog went rocketing into the heart of Africa.

The owner of the voice was only a few minutes into one of their rare naps when a shrill alarm cut through the normally oppressive silence of the monitor room like a photon in a vacuum. After a positively feline stretch, the being rose from their chair and walked over to the command console, tapping a button to kill the alarm.

"Finally." The owner of the voice said, feeling supremely satisfied.

So strong a satisfaction, in fact, that not even the obnoxiously loud stomps of their companion bursting into the room could dampen it. Then again, everything this other one did seemed to be loud and obnoxious, so perhaps necessity had forced the owner of the voice to get used to it. Anything was possible in an infinite universe.

"What was that?" The other voice boomed. "Have these primitives finally discovered us?"

"Hardly. We could be standing right in front of them and they wouldn't know we were there. I made sure of it." The voice replied. "No, that was the main computer. It appears that one of the drones has made a match."

"A match? Then we've found one? A time traveler? The other voice asked.

"Indeed. As I said before, it's basic animal behavior: If you want to catch someone with access to time travel technology, then you pick a spot where a time travelers frequent and build your trap." The voice said. "Believe it or not, this little floating zoo is considered one of the wonders of the galaxy. It was only a matter of time before someone took the bait."

"Yes yes, I'm all too aware of your theories and plans." The other voice bellowed. There was only so much insufferable smugness about theories and plans they could stand before they went absolutely mad. "So why are we standing around talking? Take them and let's be done with this!"

"No need to be impatient, they aren't going anywhere." The voice replied. "Besides, don't you want to see what our future victim looks like?"

The owner of the voice tapped a few buttons, accessing the drone's visual database. Instantly every monitor in the room, which numbered in the hundreds, was plastered with a single grinning face and two words: The Doctor.

"The Doctor? THE DOCTOR?!" The other voice shouted, slamming his fists onto a nearby wall. "By the fire pits of Daigrom, will I ever be free of this thrice-damned simpleton?!"

"Perfect." The owner of the voice said. "I had hoped this over-sized children's toy would attract his attention, but so soon to the culmination of my work? If I believed in fate, it would be smiling on me today."

"You _planned_ for The Doctor to be here?" The other voice questioned, although it sounded more like an accusation.

"Any Time Lord would have been sufficient, but The Doctor was a distinct and preferable possibility, yes." The voice responded testily. "You're not the only one who despises him. If I can accomplish my goals and dispose of him at the same time, then it's more than worth the potential risk."

"Killing The Doctor…" The other voice said dreamily, as if they could taste the words. "Yes, that does have a certain appeal to it."

"I thought it would." The voice said, unable to keep the condescension from creeping into their voice.

"All we have to do is wait."


End file.
